BTS: Strutting Outside My Comfort Zone

kate winzeler
Nov 2, 2019
4 min read

Updated: Nov 11, 2019

C4 Project

C1: How can I be more intentional with my growth?

I started by clarifying my problem. You've probably noticed this recurring theme so far, but I decided that I’m not doing enough things that challenge me...I’m too complacent. I’m not taking advantages of the opportunities for growth around me, thus I'm not becoming the best version of myself.

C2: See 100 ideas here

After I established my problem, I went into capturing solutions. Since the best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of them, I ideated a list of 100 possible ideas and then printed it out.

C3: 1) Which ones scare me?

2) Which is the most unique?

3) Which one is the most shocking/out of character?

4) Which is something that I've always wanted to do?

5) Which of these are possible?

After I had my list of 100 I asked my first convergence question and crossed of ones that didn't scare me. Then I took that reduced list and asked the second question...and so on until I narrowed it down to two.

C4: Audition for MUF&D

The two ideas I had it narrowed down to were starting my own personal blog and auditioning to model for MUF&D. When it came down to choosing between the two I went with the one that seemed like it had more risk involved: auditioning. This one made me want to throw up because it was actually something I had to do in front of people, whereas launching my blog, I got to hide behind a screen. Even though I went with the audition for my C4, I have been and am continuing to work on my own personal blog. My goal is to have my blog launched by my 21st birthday on November 27th. ( I have written this down AND shared it with a trusted friend to hold me accountable.)

During the Process

While working on my c4 I tried to be intentional with documenting how I felt during the process. I wanted to remember exactly how I felt and what I was feeling so I could take the most out of this experience.

A friend of mine dragged me along to a model bootcamp that MUF&D put on so people could get practice before the actual audition. I wrote this right after:

9/26/19

My lovely friend drug me to my first model bootcamp meeting last night. Which means that I had strut in heels across a room full of people and be critiqued. My inner VOJ was screaming!! First of all, the only pair of heels I brought to school are about 5 inches tall, with a very slender heel. If you know me well, you know that I HATE walking into rooms full of people by myself, but I marched right in only to discover that the model directors who were leading the meeting were two of my friends from last year. This made me a lot more comfortable because I was able to crack some jokes with them before walking, which lightened the mood.

Words can’t tell you how much of a fraud I felt. It was almost like my first day of my summer internship: Small-town me tackling the L train on my first day in Chicago. I 100% faked it til I made it and pretended like I knew what I was doing. I practiced a few times before my ~official~ walk in front of everyone and was laughing. (Surprise) I had NO idea how I was supposed to strut down a runway and NOT laugh or smile! After my first walk, I did laugh and smile so that’s a small thing I need to overcome before the actual auditions.

Another critique I received was to stop asking the judges what I’m doing wrong and just own it. He said, “That’s your problem. You’re not believing in yourself. Just believe in yourself, walk out here and own it.” That could probably be applied to many areas of my life, not just strutting down a runaway. Note taken.

My one goal with the model bootcamp was to have fun. I knew there were going to be people there that were prettier than me, more experienced than me, and way more serious about modeling than I was, but I was there to have fun. I think my laughing mood helped a few other people lighten up a bit and I was able to strike up a conversation with a couple of girls waiting in line with me.

This was a mini C4 for me: How could I be more intentional during this meeting? I walked out of it with a couple of new friends and had a lot of fun. Even though it was such a small thing compared to the actual audition, the experience itself felt invigorating. I felt confident, happy and proud of myself for taking a risk, trying something new, but most importantly not taking it so seriously.

Then on my way to my audition I recorded how I was feeling in the few moments before I went on stage. Enjoy this little pep talk I gave myself!