Envisioning My Best Self

Pause to Envision Exercise

A journal entry from 11/29/2024:

The holiday season always gets me in my feels. I spend a lot of the month reflecting on the past year, seeing how I’ve changed, and being grateful for my growth. This year has been a special one. It’s the year that I’m finally starting to see the fruit of my laborious last couple of years. It’s as if every experience in my life has led me to this one right here.

I’m going on my third year here in Charlotte, North Carolina. Moving here after graduation in 2021 has been one of the best decisions for me. Looking back at that time in my life I was so eager; so eager to get out of my small town in Ohio, so eager to get on with my life, to start my career. My dad always told me that if you don’t go to school somewhere where you want to live after, then make sure you move somewhere after college where you want to live. Otherwise, you might get sucked back into Bryan Ohio’s vortex. At least that’s what happened to him.

I’m not quite sure why I moved to North Carolina. I think the beach to mountain ratio was calling my name...There’s so much more to do here than Ohio. That and Charlotte is a booming tech city in the south. When I first moved here I was desperate to make friends, so I decided that I would go to a church that I’d heard of years ago called Elevation Church. There, I got involved in a women’s group and ended up meeting some pretty cool girls who are now my roommates. These girls were the ones that encouraged me to continue my writing/blogging and believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. They’re the girls that had my back when I finally made the decision to quit my 9-5 so I could start my own gig with one of my best friends from college.

Two years ago, my blog took off. I finally had some more readers than just my mom! In addition, I just received an invitation to an event where I had the chance to meet several of my favorite bloggers/influencers. I connected with them and they are willingly giving me a hand and showing me the ropes of this career. Oh and I just finished the first chapter of my first book, which has been a dream of mind since childhood.

Life is good right now, really good. I’m becoming the person I’ve always dreamed of being. My vision is clear. I’m focused and inspired. I may not have it all together, but the road ahead looks really promising.

After graduation in 2021, a new chapter of my life began, but my story would be incredibly incomplete without the chapters before. I’m so glad that I started keeping a journal ten years ago. It’s been so neat to look back and see what got me to where I am now. Through all of the hills and valleys, I’ve made it through! But I think it all traces back to my sophomore year of college, which is the year that I really started thinking about who I was vs. who I wanted to be. It was the year that I added the entrepreneurship co-major and started to take classes. It was the year that I really got thrown out of my comfort zone, but like ripping off a bandaid it wasn’t as scary as I’d always thought. It was the year that my addiction to personal growth and self-discovery began. And for the first time in my life, I actually had professors who really cared for and believed in me more than I myself.

At the start of my junior year of college, my word for that school year was “intentionality.” I strived to be intentional with my life, relationships, decisions, classes etc. I went on my first mission trip to Uganda where I was emotionally and spiritually impacted like never before. After arriving in Uganda, I knew I’d never be the same again. I grew so much more in my relationship with the Lord that year.

My intentional decisions junior year led me to get an internship abroad at a startup in Luxembourg my senior year. I grew exponentially since I was forced to live and work in a foreign country. Living in Europe I became incredibly focused and independent. I’ll admit that those three months were kind of my selfish season; a season in which I did a lot of pruning. I leaned into my faith even more heavily and was given a clearer direction of what I had to offer the world. I made intentional quiet time a daily practice. I got up earlier and went to bed earlier. I wrote a lot more. I made working out a healthy habit. I said “no” to lots of things, so I could say “yes” to more important things. I ended relationships that I felt weren’t moving in the same direction or pace that I was. I rekindled life-giving relationships that I let slip away over the years. I didn’t let anything or anyone stop me or get in the way of who I was becoming.

When I returned from Europe I made my last semester at Miami University the best one yet. I was so incredibly grateful for those past four years at the best school. The friendships I’d made were lifelong friendships. While I didn’t find my groom at college, I sure did find my bridesmaids! In addition, I held such respect and gratitude my professors, specifically my entrepreneurship professors, who had spent the last three years investing in me, pushing me outside of my comfort zone, and believing in me more than I thought anyone ever could. I also felt so much love towards my parents who had both worked their asses off to give me the gift of this education. They sacrificed so much to put me and my siblings through college and I knew I could never repay them. It made me that much more determined to make something of myself.

So what got me here? The truth is that I owe it all to the Lord for giving me this one wild and precious life to live. He gave me parents that loved me and supported me through college. He gave me phenomenal professors who challenged me and believed in me when no one else did. He gave me the most supportive and loving friends who encouraged and loved me. He gave me a purpose when I felt that I had none. I owe it all to the Lord and the incredible people in my life that have helped me unlock my wildest dreams and reach my highest potential.

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Click here to see the behind the scenes of writing my envision exercise.