Adding Value to Life

Personal Values

My goal in life is to help everyone not just know, but really believe that they are here for a reason. We were all created with different gifts and capabilities. We were all designed to use these gifts and talents to love and serve others; in turn, making the world a better place. In order to really hone in on these talents, we have to do some soul searching. A daily surrender to becoming the best version of yourself is your gift to the world.

I’ve recently come to the realization that when I get stressed, the less I think about anything around me. I call this “me mode,” where the only thing I’m thinking about is (shamefully) myself. I’m not thinking about my friends, I’m not thinking about my family, I’m not thinking about that kid who just spilled his coffee that I probably could’ve helped, I’m thinking about myself. During a limited time-frame, I get so laser-focused on my wants and needs at that moment that the less I pay attention to anything or anyone around me. Now that I’m aware of this, I’m on a conscious pursuit to break out of me-mode, so I can think less about what I want and need and more about “How can I become a better version of myself so that way I can better love the people around me?”

In recent months, I’ve been doing some pretty hefty self-discovery using the Enneagram tool. The more I’m learning about myself, the more I’m able to zero in on ways that I can improve myself. I’ve learned that one of the best things I can do for others and myself, is to spend quiet time alone to recharge. I’m an ambivert, so while I love to be surrounded by people, I often need time to retreat and be alone. It’s a constant balancing act to juggle school, group work, my job, relationships AND give myself time to recharge. I’ve been trying to get up early every day to give myself quiet time in the morning, but sometimes I sacrifice that time for a few more minutes of sleep. I’ve also come to the harsh realization that I need to do some pruning; say “no” to some things, so I can say “yes” to even better things. These are areas where I need to slow down, establish rhythms and stick to them so I can allow my values to catch up.

This isn’t a loss, but rather the opposite, that has impacted me the most. You see, here in America, I believe that the majority of us are accustomed to lifestyles of excess. We have things, a lot of things. We have things that we need, things that we want, things that we don’t need, and things that we don’t want. The moral of the story is that most of us have too much stuff! Growing up, I never knew how much money we had, nor did I care. I had everything I needed and that was enough. After coming to college, I began to realize that a lot of kids here had a lot more than I did. New cars and expensive name-brand clothing, I was honestly shocked by the differences in lifestyles between a lot of my friends and me. So, I began to desire more things. I started to become a version of myself that I didn’t recognize, all for the sake of doing what everyone else said would make me happy. No surprise that it backfired, leaving me feeling emptier and more confused. I think that when we’re surrounded by “more” it’s easy to get distracted and we lose focus on the things that actually matter. During j-term that year, I was able to get back to my roots, surrounded by my family at home. I was reminded again of what’s most important in life.

I think the value that I must develop the most is my spirituality. My faith is the foundation that I’ve built my life on, but it’s something that I’ll never wake up and say “Oh, I’ve finally got it all figured out.” That will never happen. It’s an ongoing process, but the more I lean into the one who created me, the more I’ll be able to understand who I am and what my purpose is.

Click here to see the behind the scenes process of finding my values.