Strutting Outside My Comfort Zone

C4: Auditioning for MUF&D Fashion Show

To give you a little backstory here, auditioning to be a model in the MUF&D Fashion show would've been something I would've laughed about last year, simply because I just didn't think I could do it. My roommate/best friend has been modeling in it for the past 2 years, so I've watched the show each year and it has been amazing! But it was never something I would've seriously considered auditioning for for several reasons:

1) I am an ambivert. I have a perfect balance between extrovert and introvert tendencies and I do NOT like all of the attention on me. You know from experience that I have a difficult time speaking out in class because that means everyone is listening to what I have to say and what if I mess it up? I am also the girl who doesn’t like to enter rooms alone because I don’t want everyone watching me (They definitely aren’t watching me anyways, but my VOJ leads me to believe so).

2) I do not know fashion at all. As I type this, I'm wearing a pair of $20 Sketchers I got on sale. (You read that right, Sketchers). And while I'm being completely honest, I do indeed own some clothes from Walmart.

So now that I've spilled my deepest secrets, let's continue.

When I first decided to audition, I thought the risk was failing in front of people. I thought maybe I would trip or laugh during my audition. I thought maybe I would get rejected and then have to suffer the screams of my VOJ that would tell me why I didn’t get chosen to model. I thought that I would have to compare myself to my roommate, who's been modeling for years. This what I thought for a solid month after my audition.

But then I got an email:

An email that caused me to react with an equal mix of excitement and "Oh shit! What have I done?"

To be honest, at first I was a little disappointed because I thought this meant that I failed my C4 assignment. I thought that because I took a risk and didn't get rejected, my risk wasn't "risky" enough.

But then I realized how much easier it would've been for me to get rejected. (Sure, I would've suffered a very temporary blow to the self-confidence (that's just how ladies are). But then I would've quickly carried on with my life eventually forgetting that it even happened in the first place.

Now that my audition is over and done with, I realize that the risk was never in any of these things. The risk was in what happens if I succeed? What happens if I do get chosen to be a model?

Sure, I made the show and that's great, awesome, and very exciting! But remember the girl who doesn't like to enter rooms alone or speak up a whole lot in class? Yeah that girl has to strut across a stage in front of 1000+ people! That is more terrifying to me than a "Maybe next time!" email.

I foresee many conversations with my VOJ in the near future about this new opportunity, but I'm looking forward to trying something new, to stepping outside of my comfort zone, and meeting new people!

Click here to see the behind the scenes of my C4 process.